Isolation

I've long became the guy that seems to be the all mighty person to ignore. Where it seems ignoring me would bring no harm whatsoever. I've stopped caring. Few months back, the number of people that I truly cared for, even then, nobody would care. I guess the all bubbly, all happy attitude has it cons eh?  

I am isolating myself from most of humans and humankind because they have longed isolated myself from them. I have been avoiding all sort of mass celebrations. Even my family know of this. Only a minor part though. Their thoughts on me staying at home instead of going out is that I stayed for the computer at home. But in truth, I stayed home because I did not wanted to waste hours of my life in the mall. That's where they usually head to in the weekend. I only see going to the mall if I have something to buy for. 

Well, of course not all blame can be put on others. I myself have to take most blames in this part. And I accept that. It is I who chose to be this way. It is I who chose to live my life this way. I am in most part, not blaming others. If it sounds so, I am sorry. But it is just how I grew up. When I was young, the people I considered my friends weren't much. There're just a certain small circle of people that I feel happy with. Their presence was one of the most glorifying thing that I truly enjoyed. But would I go back to that life? No. Because it is meant to be. And I accept that. 

There seem to not have any sort of "cure" to this "disease" of mine. In fact, you can call that anti-social. Because I don't mind at all. Why should I? Considering the fact that I've given up all hope and care for the world. I cannot wait for the day where I'll leave this place, and move to another world in Scandinavia. 

Imagine having a house of this sort in the Northern part of Sweden, or the East of Oslo. Maybe then, I will truly find peace. Where as in this place, peace is sort of a myth. 

Or maybe spending ages up in the mountains. Hours, days and maybe even weeks up high in the mountains. It doesn't have to be any sort of activity, be it skiing or snowboarding, just by being up with the mountain, I might be able to feel true happiness. Happiness without lies. Legitimately happiness without any lies, without any secrets. Just plain happy. The sort of happiness that we get when we were young and not a single care for the world.

Weather and seasons are one of nature's best gifts to all of mankind. Particularly the rain and the snow, in my opinion anyways.

And yet, one of the things that I well and truly loved, travelling. Travelling around the world, experiencing and indulge myself in the wonders of the world. Travelling near to the lands of India, experiencing the colourful festivals, the Holi. Or even in Utah, as shown in the video.

Or a bike trip in the America? From Pittsburgh to Cumberland to Washington D.C. It's called the Great Allegheny Passage.  Be it in the Americas or Europe or even Africa, travel is a luxury. It is ones way to let go and let live. It is one of the most wonderful gift one could get. Because it is that special. 

They say, the best way to truly experience travelling, is to get lost. Getting lost enables us to truly enjoy the culture of that certain place. Not of any sort that are stated on the travel booklet you got from the airport.

Or how about looking for all the planets in our Solar System in Zagreb , Croatia? This place has the Nine Views. In which there's a few balls considered as planets, they are scaled in proportion to each planet’s real size (according to the Sun) and distance as well…Mercury is just few meters away from the Sun and Pluto is in suburb of Zagreb, more than 8 kilometers away from the Sun. 

Be it, the trail, the colour, the planets, I do not care. I want to get lost. I want freedom.

Writing this post, it relieves a certain part in me. As if some sort of burden were finally released off my shoulder.  Am I a free man now? Maybe not. But I sense a little freedom. And it feels great.

For å være ærlig, for to uker siden i løpet av ferien, jeg virkelig likte at 9 dager bryte. Uten at noen fra klassen, fra skolen, pokker, alle sammen. Bare et par dager med slektninger for festivalen.