It's Kind Of A Funny Story.

Finally going to be a post not with a one word titled. It's been like 10 post since I had a title of more than one word. And frankly, I enjoyed it. The one-word posts I mean. It's simple, it's not complicated, it's just nice.

For the past week, I've been watching tons of movie. There's Olympus Has Fallen , Moneyball , Lincoln, The Hobbit , The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and I am finally finished with Lilyhammer. They're all pretty good. The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo is especially nice, I love how Rooney Mara portray Lisbeth Salander in the show, I love her style, the energy that she brings to the movie. And I am not saying that just cause she was nude in the movie. Nude or no nude, she's amazing in the movie and deserve all the recognition that she got.

But I'm not here to talk about that movie. I'm here to talk on another movie, called , It's Kind Of A Funny Story. I like this movie, a lot. It just well, makes me happy. I guess that's cause I sort of relate to Craig. He's contemplating suicide, constantly facing depression, and for not of a big reason, not reason that include beating, not reason that include abuse, just well, stress. And well, I am the sort of person that cannot function under immense stress. That's why I tend to fend away from jobs that has many people looking. I guess it's the effects of a person suffering from major stage fright, major loss in confidence and definitely social anxiety. I just can't work well under the eyes of stress.

Come to think of it, on the day that I watched the movie for the first time. I didn't actually say, "I want to watch It's Kind Of A Funny Story today." I was scrolling through the folder, deciding on what to watch, from Argo to Zero Dark Thirty to Looper. There was this thing in the movie that attracted me. I don't know what. I don't know the plot of this movie. I don't know who were acting in the movie. I just decided to watch it. And it was the best 1 hour 41 minutes in the entire week that I have.

Funny thing, when I was watching the movie, I was in the sort of depression that has led to some "self-mutilation" in some cases. Did I did it? I'm not going to say. But back to the movie, Craig has depression and all that. And he got checked into an adult psychiatric ward in the hospital. The people admitted into it, were weird and creepy at first, but boy, are they interesting people. I would like to meet someone like Bobby and Smitty and Noelle. They are so interesting people. 

Craig suffer from depression because of this summer school application that will or will not make a major impact in his resume for college. Halfway though his time in the ward, he was re-introduced to art. The art that he drew was amazing. It's a brain map. In the end, he chooses to "screw" the app and venture into a new career of arts. 

The brain map that he made for Bobby.

He draw because it free him of his stress. It makes him "fly" away into another world, a world that only he has control of.

I wish to fly away too. It's just that, I have nothing that can make me "fly" away. I can't draw, I can't play music, I can't even study well. I have nothing. I don't even know what I exist in this world for, I bring nothing but bad to everybody.

...

I want to draw. But I have no creativity. I am wasting my life just as life is wasting me.

I want to life again.
I want to get lost.
I want an adventure.
...

I want to breathe.