Life Works In A Funny Way.
Couple of days ago, I blogged about how I've changed my perspective of everything that I see, hear and touch. It is true, to some extent. But just today, as this moment, it's coming back. And it's biting real hard. God works in a funny way eh.
It must be the loneliness, the fear of being alone, where no one genuinely cares and gives not a single damn about you and how're you doing. Like I've said, these are the things that cannot be changed overnight. It took a damn while for I to felt this way, it will take a damn longer while for it to be overturned. So don't bother telling me that it will get better or tomorrow will be a better day and all, because I won't listen, as though I've said many of these to the people that had talked to me and require some sort of remedy. Truth is, we all need some alone time. It's just that I need it more. But that doesn't mean I don't mind being left alone for the rest of the world.
I don't know, I don't want this to be another childish worthless rant about how I hate the world and all, because I don't. I don't hate the world. It's just that there are moments that I feel utterly useless. Nothing is going right these days. Oh well, I'm a depressed old crap from the tiniest of lands. No one really bothers anyway. Everyone look down on people, everyone look down on me. And they deserve every right to do so.
You see, even though I changed my perspective of everything I see, hear and touch. I can't change of my perspective of myself. I still think of how I'm never going to achieve anything in the future. I'm still thinking of how I had not and will never bring any good to the people around and that my presence will only bring gloom.
It must be the loneliness, the fear of being alone, where no one genuinely cares and gives not a single damn about you and how're you doing. Like I've said, these are the things that cannot be changed overnight. It took a damn while for I to felt this way, it will take a damn longer while for it to be overturned. So don't bother telling me that it will get better or tomorrow will be a better day and all, because I won't listen, as though I've said many of these to the people that had talked to me and require some sort of remedy. Truth is, we all need some alone time. It's just that I need it more. But that doesn't mean I don't mind being left alone for the rest of the world.I don't know, I don't want this to be another childish worthless rant about how I hate the world and all, because I don't. I don't hate the world. It's just that there are moments that I feel utterly useless. Nothing is going right these days. Oh well, I'm a depressed old crap from the tiniest of lands. No one really bothers anyway. Everyone look down on people, everyone look down on me. And they deserve every right to do so.
This post is really messy and again I am sorry. I just can't write properly these days. Might as well take a break from it. Which I will with me going back to the tiny land few hours later. Not going to come back until the first day of school. Can someone talk to me while I'm gone? Yes, I am glad that I'm going back, need something to calm my mind of some terrible things. But yet again, I fear being lonely. I need someone to talk to me.
I just love this so much. It's not much. It's just written by one on Tumblr. It's not by any famous writer or any sort, but anyone with eyes to see , ears to hear and heart to feel are capable of big things. And this is one of it.
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Goodnight and goodbye for now.
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