ændre.
Change.
There is a serious need of change. I have wasted 17 years of my life. I need to turn things around. I need to produce better results in my studies, I need to change my attitude, the way my brain thinks , my non-existence confidence.
There is a serious need of change. I have wasted 17 years of my life. I need to turn things around. I need to produce better results in my studies, I need to change my attitude, the way my brain thinks , my non-existence confidence.
Couple days back, I was talking to Melissa on Whatsapp. And after telling her that I enjoyed the presence of the mentally unstable or just people that are not "normal" , she proceeded and said that I have issues. Well right after that, she did say in a good way. But before she said that, one would certainly feel hurt after hearing something like that right? But no, in this case, in my case, I did not felt sad, I felt happy. I felt joy. I guess I really have issues isn't it?
But think of it this way, people who are deemed "norma" do and achieve normal stuffs right? They just stay in the middle. Nothing extraordinary, nothing terrible. While people who have "issues, well, let them speak for themselves. Look at Vincent van Gogh, David Beckham ( I did not know of this until I did more research on the topic, he has Tourettes Syndrome, Neil Young made it with polio and epilepsy, Einstein, Magic Johnson, Walt Disney , Winston Churchill all had dyslexia. Or even Neil Hilborn, the guy with OCD that wrote the beautiful poem I posted few days ago. They are all fantastic people with greater achievements. Of course I am leaving out the thousands of people with "issues" and went on to live either "normal" life or a terrible one. I'm looking at you Anders Breivik. But people such as these, they surely had one point in their life that can be deemed as the turning point? Does it just pop out like that? Or do we need to achieve some goals to be able to unlock that "challenge?"
If its the former, all I need to do is just sit and stone.
If its the latter, then I am in serious need of change.
Of course I won't change the introvert in me, I love being alone, I love the peace, I love solitude. But sometimes there needs to be change. I admit, there is many things that I need to change in myself. That said, people said that being alone most of the time is bad. But I enjoy it. Albeit if with a book it would be marvelous. Because books are just that amazing. Because " books don't offer real escape, but they can stop a mind from scratching itself raw."
My confidence on the other hand, need a major shake up. Some people suggest talking to the mirror, some suggest the on the outside simple way of, well, just talking with people. But whenever I talk to someone or in a group, I will stutter, I will lose my words, right after speaking, I will think , "Stan you pathetic little thing, why did you say that? You just made yourself look bad in front of all these people." That shows how low my confidence within me.
And I always believe in doing things that you enjoy and it's fun. For the past two weeks, I've been hooked to one thing. One person actually. A YouTuber. Louis Cole, also known as FunForLouis. He seems so friendly, and he enjoys doing the video. No matter how tiring or the work it takes to do so. So maybe I should do a Vlog too? That would be a great idea. But not now. Maybe after SPM? Maybe that will up the confidence in me. Maybe that would make me change. Maybe that is what it will to gøre mig skifte?
Good night.
If its the former, all I need to do is just sit and stone.
If its the latter, then I am in serious need of change.
Of course I won't change the introvert in me, I love being alone, I love the peace, I love solitude. But sometimes there needs to be change. I admit, there is many things that I need to change in myself. That said, people said that being alone most of the time is bad. But I enjoy it. Albeit if with a book it would be marvelous. Because books are just that amazing. Because " books don't offer real escape, but they can stop a mind from scratching itself raw."
My confidence on the other hand, need a major shake up. Some people suggest talking to the mirror, some suggest the on the outside simple way of, well, just talking with people. But whenever I talk to someone or in a group, I will stutter, I will lose my words, right after speaking, I will think , "Stan you pathetic little thing, why did you say that? You just made yourself look bad in front of all these people." That shows how low my confidence within me.
And I always believe in doing things that you enjoy and it's fun. For the past two weeks, I've been hooked to one thing. One person actually. A YouTuber. Louis Cole, also known as FunForLouis. He seems so friendly, and he enjoys doing the video. No matter how tiring or the work it takes to do so. So maybe I should do a Vlog too? That would be a great idea. But not now. Maybe after SPM? Maybe that will up the confidence in me. Maybe that would make me change. Maybe that is what it will to gøre mig skifte?
Good night.
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