Eat Me , Drink Me
Yes , I'm putting one of Marilyn Manson's album as the post title. I'm sorry. It's been awhile since I've listen to him and nothing right is happening. All wrongs and no right made Stan a sad boy.
It's the holidays and I'm afraid I'm doing the same thing I've been doing come holiday, isolating myself. That said, I'm not really doing that but I still feel the same way as the last holidays, isolation. I mean, I had a GREAT day today in Times Square ( Times Square is really shitty now, when I first stepped foot into Times Square , it was amazing, one of the best mall to be in, but look at it now, it's so meh, it's so degraded ) , I came home and I went out for a good dinner in Paradigm , I came back and play a few games. It was fine. But here I am, when everybody is gone, I'm here still feeling dislocated, unneeded and unwanted. Why oh why do I keep feeling that way?
I don't think that me going to Australia for 3 months will help in that. When I was first told about the trip, I was happy. I was excited about the trip. All was well. Then the thoughts attacked. ( sorry gotta put that in, i'm being incredibly ridiculous right now) , "What if I go there for 3 months, being separated from the people I love, and they'll all forget about me when I get back?" , "What if they realise what they're getting with my presence gone?" I don't know man, I can never rid of this thoughts.
Worst , I'm still thinking this way when I went out and had the one of the most enjoyable day on Monday after my last paper, went and had a fun day in Times Square today and am excited for the dinner tomorrow night. But I'm still feeling disconnected. Why?
It's the holidays and I'm afraid I'm doing the same thing I've been doing come holiday, isolating myself. That said, I'm not really doing that but I still feel the same way as the last holidays, isolation. I mean, I had a GREAT day today in Times Square ( Times Square is really shitty now, when I first stepped foot into Times Square , it was amazing, one of the best mall to be in, but look at it now, it's so meh, it's so degraded ) , I came home and I went out for a good dinner in Paradigm , I came back and play a few games. It was fine. But here I am, when everybody is gone, I'm here still feeling dislocated, unneeded and unwanted. Why oh why do I keep feeling that way?
I don't think that me going to Australia for 3 months will help in that. When I was first told about the trip, I was happy. I was excited about the trip. All was well. Then the thoughts attacked. ( sorry gotta put that in, i'm being incredibly ridiculous right now) , "What if I go there for 3 months, being separated from the people I love, and they'll all forget about me when I get back?" , "What if they realise what they're getting with my presence gone?" I don't know man, I can never rid of this thoughts.
Worst , I'm still thinking this way when I went out and had the one of the most enjoyable day on Monday after my last paper, went and had a fun day in Times Square today and am excited for the dinner tomorrow night. But I'm still feeling disconnected. Why?
Comments
Post a Comment