Emotional Fragility
Emotions, essence of human life?
I believe we are on Earth for a reason. I do not believe the reason is same for all being, considering there's no two alike human being in the world. For some, the religious one, their way of life is to do good and hope to achieve nirvana and/or be accepted into heaven. For another, is to be on top of the world, with the power of freedom or the freedom of power. But for me, I believe my reason of being a human being is to achieve happiness. Not only happiness for myself, but to bring happiness upon my peers, and even strangers.
These few days, I've been quite an emotional wreck. Before the year started, my reaction to most deaths, to most injuries were close to null. Like, "oh another car crash. That poor soul." I don't know why or how, but a switch seemed to flicked inside my head and I've become the wreck I am. Give me the same news , I'd be heartbroken and even come close to tears.
When someone mention death, the first thing that comes to mind is about the death of my aunt almost a decade ago. I was a mere 7-8 years old then, and she was robbed of her life by a petty thief. I still remember how I was feeling and what I was thinking then. Because our hometown is in Kuala Penyu, a 2 hours drive from Kota Kinabalu, I couldn't help but felt confused in the ride. And even more so when in the actual funeral. I was thinking, "Where's Aunt Elizabeth?" , "Why's everyone crowding the empty plot of land?" and so on.
Fast forward 10 years and I'd be shattered if I heard of any death, family, friends, acquaintances. Truth is, I'm a bloody insecure person and I need the assurances that I will be held onto when I fall and pulled back up when I'm on the ground. That's why , leaving secondary school was especially tough. I've left a school one time more than the usual , with each departure being harder than the previous.
-update on my BAC situation-
I've actually made some friends. *yay* They're pretty cool. I met another Sabahan. I met an Indian who doesn't look like Indian. I met a lot of cool people. Well not a lot but a few. You get the point. I guess I can live through the next 14 months with ease eh eh?
I believe we are on Earth for a reason. I do not believe the reason is same for all being, considering there's no two alike human being in the world. For some, the religious one, their way of life is to do good and hope to achieve nirvana and/or be accepted into heaven. For another, is to be on top of the world, with the power of freedom or the freedom of power. But for me, I believe my reason of being a human being is to achieve happiness. Not only happiness for myself, but to bring happiness upon my peers, and even strangers.These few days, I've been quite an emotional wreck. Before the year started, my reaction to most deaths, to most injuries were close to null. Like, "oh another car crash. That poor soul." I don't know why or how, but a switch seemed to flicked inside my head and I've become the wreck I am. Give me the same news , I'd be heartbroken and even come close to tears.
When someone mention death, the first thing that comes to mind is about the death of my aunt almost a decade ago. I was a mere 7-8 years old then, and she was robbed of her life by a petty thief. I still remember how I was feeling and what I was thinking then. Because our hometown is in Kuala Penyu, a 2 hours drive from Kota Kinabalu, I couldn't help but felt confused in the ride. And even more so when in the actual funeral. I was thinking, "Where's Aunt Elizabeth?" , "Why's everyone crowding the empty plot of land?" and so on.
Fast forward 10 years and I'd be shattered if I heard of any death, family, friends, acquaintances. Truth is, I'm a bloody insecure person and I need the assurances that I will be held onto when I fall and pulled back up when I'm on the ground. That's why , leaving secondary school was especially tough. I've left a school one time more than the usual , with each departure being harder than the previous.
-update on my BAC situation-
I've actually made some friends. *yay* They're pretty cool. I met another Sabahan. I met an Indian who doesn't look like Indian. I met a lot of cool people. Well not a lot but a few. You get the point. I guess I can live through the next 14 months with ease eh eh?
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