new year , new life?
cue ; Josh Rouse's sad eyes ♫♪♫
before i start to write anything and you to read on, i'm gonna give you a warning. this post will not be my best post. and it will not be a particularly good post to read. you will probably just give up halfway through and be rid of it, but that's okay. i'm not okay but that's okay. now that a formal warning is in place, can i go on? oh and no pictures for today because my computer is shitty and im shitty and i dont want you to feel shitty if i post shitty photos that has nothing to do with the post itself, oh wait... i always do that... oh great, im shitty again
is it worrisome if i say i hadn't been feeling anything for the past few weeks? i mean there's the odd moments where im absolutely terrified and nervous and metaphorically shat my pants ( going to the interview and actually going to the job itself ) but there's that and that's it. but i got to admit, i felt a little different during the days up to christmas this year than the years before. what was it , i don't know. it just felt a little more christmas-y though the celebrations and decorations toned down a whole lot compared to the years before. but on christmas day itself, you want to know what i did? i complied and downloaded and burn a mix consisting of songs from our childhood. that's what i did for 4-5 hours when the sun was up on christmas. if you guys want to give it a go, after listening to Josh Rouse that is, he's amazing, here's the link on spotify, ( x ) , i'll also put one at the end of the post.
on new year's eve, i slept in until 11. then i got my glasses fixed a little then spent 29 hours in public bank ( numbers have always been my weak point ) then got dropped off at the train station to catch a train to bangsar for my first day of work. that's right, i spent my new year's eve working, with people, for thousands of people. i was , and im not shitting you right now, fucking terified. cuse the language. it was an eye opener to say the least. and i hope i get the job. it was just a probation / training period but tbh, because of my emptiness feeling or idk, i don't feel like getting the job. i just want to stay at home in the corner and die while wrapped in a blanket on a scaling hot day. talking about the weather, you know something is messed up with the world when you could actually feel cold in malaysia in the middle of the day without having any fan or air-con turned on. we're going to die...
anyway, since it's the first day of 2015, i mean second day, im supposed to give a whole list of my resolutions right? well tbh, my only resolution this year is to not feel that sad anymore. i mean, there's 365 days, i yearn to not feel sad for half of it. and my plan for doing that is to take things one at a time, one day at a time. no rushing. also, i wish that after i finish my driving license, im going to accomplish something and hopefully that'll make two people happy but that's another post for another day. and this's going to be the first post of the year, with one full resolution coming in for 2015. will i do it right? will i do it wrong? will you be with me on it?
i know what you're going to say, it's so generic to have welcome to the black parade as the first song and thanks for the memories as the last song. nice kid nice.
before i start to write anything and you to read on, i'm gonna give you a warning. this post will not be my best post. and it will not be a particularly good post to read. you will probably just give up halfway through and be rid of it, but that's okay. i'm not okay but that's okay. now that a formal warning is in place, can i go on? oh and no pictures for today because my computer is shitty and im shitty and i dont want you to feel shitty if i post shitty photos that has nothing to do with the post itself, oh wait... i always do that... oh great, im shitty again
is it worrisome if i say i hadn't been feeling anything for the past few weeks? i mean there's the odd moments where im absolutely terrified and nervous and metaphorically shat my pants ( going to the interview and actually going to the job itself ) but there's that and that's it. but i got to admit, i felt a little different during the days up to christmas this year than the years before. what was it , i don't know. it just felt a little more christmas-y though the celebrations and decorations toned down a whole lot compared to the years before. but on christmas day itself, you want to know what i did? i complied and downloaded and burn a mix consisting of songs from our childhood. that's what i did for 4-5 hours when the sun was up on christmas. if you guys want to give it a go, after listening to Josh Rouse that is, he's amazing, here's the link on spotify, ( x ) , i'll also put one at the end of the post.
on new year's eve, i slept in until 11. then i got my glasses fixed a little then spent 29 hours in public bank ( numbers have always been my weak point ) then got dropped off at the train station to catch a train to bangsar for my first day of work. that's right, i spent my new year's eve working, with people, for thousands of people. i was , and im not shitting you right now, fucking terified. cuse the language. it was an eye opener to say the least. and i hope i get the job. it was just a probation / training period but tbh, because of my emptiness feeling or idk, i don't feel like getting the job. i just want to stay at home in the corner and die while wrapped in a blanket on a scaling hot day. talking about the weather, you know something is messed up with the world when you could actually feel cold in malaysia in the middle of the day without having any fan or air-con turned on. we're going to die...
anyway, since it's the first day of 2015, i mean second day, im supposed to give a whole list of my resolutions right? well tbh, my only resolution this year is to not feel that sad anymore. i mean, there's 365 days, i yearn to not feel sad for half of it. and my plan for doing that is to take things one at a time, one day at a time. no rushing. also, i wish that after i finish my driving license, im going to accomplish something and hopefully that'll make two people happy but that's another post for another day. and this's going to be the first post of the year, with one full resolution coming in for 2015. will i do it right? will i do it wrong? will you be with me on it?
i know what you're going to say, it's so generic to have welcome to the black parade as the first song and thanks for the memories as the last song. nice kid nice.
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