Cursed

A sense of familiarity came to me while writing yesterday's post, and it came to me just. The entering into a different world, the different situation in different circumstances, I didn't came up with that. I read about it. In a fictional world. In Haruki Murakami's 1Q84. Which is a very good book by the way.

Anyways, I don't know what's wrong with me. I think I am cursed with eternal exhaustion. And no sleep will cure me of it. When did this happened? I don't know, was it the cause? I don't know. I just want to get off of this curse, I am the damned son of God and I am being punished for it. I am the damned son of the Earth and all I touch will rot. I am the damned son of the Universe and just as the open space out there, a perennial black hole exists inside of me. And I got no way of escaping.

I am cursed with existential crisis at the age of 19. I wonder what will come of me and my mind when I'm 29. Who knows maybe the only me will be under the soil with only a headstone to mark my mark in what's left of the physical world. The worst kind of curse are ones that takes away your salvation and sound mind.

What can one do to relieve himself from this curse? The only way I see is down.