30/5/2014
30/5/2015
In a few more hours, it will officially be a year since your leaving of us. While I admit the first few months were tough, but I guess the time after, I've come to terms that you're truly gone from this physical, tangible world that we used to share.
I may not have been the perfect son, I may not have been in your life as much as you, or I wish for and back then the only reason I called you was to acquire something. Which I regret. Because of my confidence, or lack of, I did not call you more often, just to ask how you were doing and to tell you that I'm doing fine when truly in fact I wasn't and I just wanted to spend more time with you, to have a genuine father-son time.
I remembered when I was younger, I used to dread it back then but every Sunday, I would wake up considerably early, I would get ready and I would head to your room while you took a shower, and I would just wait there and play with the balls on the billiard table, albeit it was sacked with mountains of papers and an impossible number of digits, it was as though you were writing a code with the zeroes and ones, and after you were ready, we would head out to church and stayed till mass ended. I always felt embarrassed to be in the church because you would always fell asleep and never fail to snore while doing so.
And after church we would head to the local golf club, until today I still regret not taking up the offer of learning golf when you presented it to me. I thought it was a boring old folks' game, little do I know of the regret that I would be having years later. And after lunch and a little bit of time spent in the games room, we head back home and I guess that was about it. Our weekly time spent together.
It was sad really. I didn't really spend much time with you back then, incapable and without the wish to do so. It was the naivety of human longevity and obnoxious "child" thoughts, oh how dumb was I then? Still is now.
I may not have been the best son to you.
I may have disappointed you time and time again.
I may have brought you more pain and suffering than happiness.
But I miss you pa. I love you.
The absence of you in me, is unbearable.
I am what I am today because of you.
I've always respected you, for what you've brought to the family.
From ashes to wood, clay to brick, you're a hardworker and I'm sorry I'm always disappointing you.
I'm sorry I hadn't told you how much I love you until it was too late.
30/5/2014
In a few more hours, it will officially be a year since your leaving of us. While I admit the first few months were tough, but I guess the time after, I've come to terms that you're truly gone from this physical, tangible world that we used to share.
I may not have been the perfect son, I may not have been in your life as much as you, or I wish for and back then the only reason I called you was to acquire something. Which I regret. Because of my confidence, or lack of, I did not call you more often, just to ask how you were doing and to tell you that I'm doing fine when truly in fact I wasn't and I just wanted to spend more time with you, to have a genuine father-son time.
I remembered when I was younger, I used to dread it back then but every Sunday, I would wake up considerably early, I would get ready and I would head to your room while you took a shower, and I would just wait there and play with the balls on the billiard table, albeit it was sacked with mountains of papers and an impossible number of digits, it was as though you were writing a code with the zeroes and ones, and after you were ready, we would head out to church and stayed till mass ended. I always felt embarrassed to be in the church because you would always fell asleep and never fail to snore while doing so.
And after church we would head to the local golf club, until today I still regret not taking up the offer of learning golf when you presented it to me. I thought it was a boring old folks' game, little do I know of the regret that I would be having years later. And after lunch and a little bit of time spent in the games room, we head back home and I guess that was about it. Our weekly time spent together.
It was sad really. I didn't really spend much time with you back then, incapable and without the wish to do so. It was the naivety of human longevity and obnoxious "child" thoughts, oh how dumb was I then? Still is now.
I may not have been the best son to you.
I may have disappointed you time and time again.
I may have brought you more pain and suffering than happiness.
But I miss you pa. I love you.
The absence of you in me, is unbearable.
I am what I am today because of you.
I've always respected you, for what you've brought to the family.
From ashes to wood, clay to brick, you're a hardworker and I'm sorry I'm always disappointing you.
I'm sorry I hadn't told you how much I love you until it was too late.
30/5/2014
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