Omnipresent
3:15am
27/06/2015
omnipresent / present everywhere at the same time.
I am having that same feeling again, the one that I used to have all the time years ago. Ironically, this same feeling is making me not feel anything at all. Like there is a wrap around the skies above us. Or that the ground below us is going to open up like a tidal wave and swallow us whole.
But at the same time, I feel everything. Everything is seemingly going slower than they are and it's weird for me to say this, but for every thing that I notice ( that is if I do notice things ), I seem to feel the movement of the said thing, be it object or human. Albeit, not so much on the latter part. Funny, I said I "feel" objects more than humans, it is as if I'm implying I am not human. huh, maybe I am not human? Okay Stan, you got to stop binge watch The Flash, thank God the season is over though, but that damn cliffhanger, why do y'll studios keep doing this?
Though, that's the thing. I do not "feel" humans because I do not understand them. As an INFJ, it is said that I'm always in search of the deeper meanings, and essentially, that also applies to the people I meet and the actions they take in addition to the actions that I partake myself in. That means, I try to think through people and their actions, with the limited information that I have knowledge on. While I may not know all the information needed, it's safe to say I know a fair amount of information that, in most cases, would be the deciding factor in making a decision.
And I do not and cannot fathom the understanding of some decisions that some people. Don't get me wrong, this is not a personal attack on anyone in particular. And this is not concerning a major decision that would change my life or something. But I'm talking about the minor, little details that people go through everyday. I'm talking about not wanting to walk the dog when it took you 6 months to convince your parents to get one, or making a New Year's resolution to stop putting it off and start to exercise but you eventually just decide to ignore it once again, just like the previous years. Huh, maybe this is why I'm alone, I'm probably going to stay alone, to take the meme forever alone literally. I doubt anyone would even dare to wander into this crazy mind of mine. I can't tell you what I want if I don't even know what I want.
Anyways, back to the topic, or subtopic if you would. You see, a dear once, couldn't understand why I dislike a movie so much, saying it's just a movie. I had a million answer to that question in my hand but I just cannot find the right words for it and all I could say was, "It just is." Like what the fuck answer is that? "It's just it." Why not you go and fuck yourself, Stan. Anyway, this is the same as that.
Okay, for real now, back to the topic. Back then, when I felt "lost", I forgot what I did back then with it but I'm pretty sure it went along the lines of hiding under the blanket, binge watching tv series or playing video games or whatever that made the clock tick faster. It was like a drug, and I hated the longing of the passing time.
Only, this time, I don't want to the clock to tick, I don't want it to tick faster or slower, I just want the clock to stop. I feel like a rush one minute only to be slowed down a minute later. All I want to do right now is for time to stop, and to take a breather under the night sky on the field. And again, this would totally be a killer way to spend a date but that's a shame with you, Stan. That's a shame..
9 out of 10 of you will probably not understand what I babbled on but that's okay, I never asked to be here or be the rarest "personality" type. It's fine really. It's not like I have an ever longing want to kill myself or an undying need to be known, I guess I just want things to go at my pace. However fast or slow it is.
Goodnight, Stan.
3:39am
27/06/2015
27/06/2015
omnipresent / present everywhere at the same time.
I am having that same feeling again, the one that I used to have all the time years ago. Ironically, this same feeling is making me not feel anything at all. Like there is a wrap around the skies above us. Or that the ground below us is going to open up like a tidal wave and swallow us whole.But at the same time, I feel everything. Everything is seemingly going slower than they are and it's weird for me to say this, but for every thing that I notice ( that is if I do notice things ), I seem to feel the movement of the said thing, be it object or human. Albeit, not so much on the latter part. Funny, I said I "feel" objects more than humans, it is as if I'm implying I am not human. huh, maybe I am not human? Okay Stan, you got to stop binge watch The Flash, thank God the season is over though, but that damn cliffhanger, why do y'll studios keep doing this?
Though, that's the thing. I do not "feel" humans because I do not understand them. As an INFJ, it is said that I'm always in search of the deeper meanings, and essentially, that also applies to the people I meet and the actions they take in addition to the actions that I partake myself in. That means, I try to think through people and their actions, with the limited information that I have knowledge on. While I may not know all the information needed, it's safe to say I know a fair amount of information that, in most cases, would be the deciding factor in making a decision.
And I do not and cannot fathom the understanding of some decisions that some people. Don't get me wrong, this is not a personal attack on anyone in particular. And this is not concerning a major decision that would change my life or something. But I'm talking about the minor, little details that people go through everyday. I'm talking about not wanting to walk the dog when it took you 6 months to convince your parents to get one, or making a New Year's resolution to stop putting it off and start to exercise but you eventually just decide to ignore it once again, just like the previous years. Huh, maybe this is why I'm alone, I'm probably going to stay alone, to take the meme forever alone literally. I doubt anyone would even dare to wander into this crazy mind of mine. I can't tell you what I want if I don't even know what I want.
Anyways, back to the topic, or subtopic if you would. You see, a dear once, couldn't understand why I dislike a movie so much, saying it's just a movie. I had a million answer to that question in my hand but I just cannot find the right words for it and all I could say was, "It just is." Like what the fuck answer is that? "It's just it." Why not you go and fuck yourself, Stan. Anyway, this is the same as that.
Okay, for real now, back to the topic. Back then, when I felt "lost", I forgot what I did back then with it but I'm pretty sure it went along the lines of hiding under the blanket, binge watching tv series or playing video games or whatever that made the clock tick faster. It was like a drug, and I hated the longing of the passing time.Only, this time, I don't want to the clock to tick, I don't want it to tick faster or slower, I just want the clock to stop. I feel like a rush one minute only to be slowed down a minute later. All I want to do right now is for time to stop, and to take a breather under the night sky on the field. And again, this would totally be a killer way to spend a date but that's a shame with you, Stan. That's a shame..
9 out of 10 of you will probably not understand what I babbled on but that's okay, I never asked to be here or be the rarest "personality" type. It's fine really. It's not like I have an ever longing want to kill myself or an undying need to be known, I guess I just want things to go at my pace. However fast or slow it is.
Goodnight, Stan.
3:39am
27/06/2015
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