Tendency
10:33pm
24/08/2015
Time and time again, I've made the same mistakes. Sometimes the realization of said mistakes appear right away. Sometimes it takes days and weeks. Today, was the latter. Let's just say I made such a clusterfuck of a mistake, I thought it would brought disparity to my family.
I noticed the mistake last night, a few hours before my first class of degree. And because of said mistake, I couldn't sleep and eventually overslept. This anxiety was the same one that I had felt years ago when I made another clusterfuck of a mistake. Can mistakes stop ruining my life? I couldn't sleep because of it. I kept thinking how much of a burden I am bringing to the family and how great it would be for them if y'know, I wasn't there.
Anyhow, I told my mother of the mistake right away the next morning. And she, surprisingly, took it calmly. I kinda wished she had gone off at me but she didn't. I don't deserve a mother like her. I am no deserving son to a mother like my mom. I HAVE TO STOP MAKING CLUSTERFUCK OF A MISTAKE. So today I made a pledge to myself to do well and hopefully score well enough to get a scholarship or something.
Today is the first day of class. I enjoyed it. Classes itself were fine I guess. It's small and I love that, compared to the hundreds in BAC, this was much appreciated. An hour in and we got our first assignment. It was to draw a drawing and what it mean to us. Well I'm not much of an artist and it was ugly as hell but we got the opportunity to go back home and come back tomorrow to present. So I did and redid everything, with a much better result.
Other than that, it was pretty much uneventful. Here's a thing I realized from my time in BAC and HELP, albeit I've only spent 3 days here.
I love my classmates in HELP, but I really miss my friends from BAC. Is this really the right move for me?
10:44pm
24/08/2015
24/08/2015
Time and time again, I've made the same mistakes. Sometimes the realization of said mistakes appear right away. Sometimes it takes days and weeks. Today, was the latter. Let's just say I made such a clusterfuck of a mistake, I thought it would brought disparity to my family.
I noticed the mistake last night, a few hours before my first class of degree. And because of said mistake, I couldn't sleep and eventually overslept. This anxiety was the same one that I had felt years ago when I made another clusterfuck of a mistake. Can mistakes stop ruining my life? I couldn't sleep because of it. I kept thinking how much of a burden I am bringing to the family and how great it would be for them if y'know, I wasn't there.Anyhow, I told my mother of the mistake right away the next morning. And she, surprisingly, took it calmly. I kinda wished she had gone off at me but she didn't. I don't deserve a mother like her. I am no deserving son to a mother like my mom. I HAVE TO STOP MAKING CLUSTERFUCK OF A MISTAKE. So today I made a pledge to myself to do well and hopefully score well enough to get a scholarship or something.
Today is the first day of class. I enjoyed it. Classes itself were fine I guess. It's small and I love that, compared to the hundreds in BAC, this was much appreciated. An hour in and we got our first assignment. It was to draw a drawing and what it mean to us. Well I'm not much of an artist and it was ugly as hell but we got the opportunity to go back home and come back tomorrow to present. So I did and redid everything, with a much better result.
Other than that, it was pretty much uneventful. Here's a thing I realized from my time in BAC and HELP, albeit I've only spent 3 days here.
I love my classmates in HELP, but I really miss my friends from BAC. Is this really the right move for me?
10:44pm
24/08/2015
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