Complimentary Truth
12:06am
26/09/2015
Look who's back with another movie inspired but not a review, post of a reflection on life. Someone once told me that a movie is just a movie. But I truly think that's not true. I mean, some people are just movies. Movies like Pixels or Transformers. But the movies back then, weren't just a movie. It's teaches values and morals. Even in hardline movies like The Godfather.
Anyhow, today's movie-inspired but not a review is Me And Earl And The Dying Girl. And again, while this is not a review, it does has some spoilers. So, if you're planning to watch it untouched, read this after you've finished it. And yes, do watch it. It's amazing. How amazing you ask? It gives me the same vibes as It's Kind Of A Funny Story. Yes, that movie. The movie that's in my Top One list of all time favorite movie.
So anyhow, the gist of the movie is about an insecure kid meeting a girl of his age, out of his will, who has cancer. Don't worry, she gets better. She doesn't die in the end.
Okay, back to the point. In the movie, a very very tiny part of the film had him, Greg, segregate the students in his high school into certain group. And the girl, Rachel asked Greg, what group is she in.
"What group am I in?"
"What?"
"Yesterday you were saying you mapped out the entire high school by group. What's my group?"
"Seriously? Boring Jewish Senior Girls, Subgroup 2-A"
"Ugh."
"Please appreciate how honest I was just now."
"You're an asshole. What group are you in?"
"Uh, I'm not in a group, actually. I just wouldn't belong to a group that doesn't suck. You know, I'm terminally awkward and has a face like a groundhog."
While the segregation of groups isn't as drastic here as it is in the Western world, there is though. To a certain degree. And I wasn't part of any group, per se, be it high school or college. More often than not, I would find myself nomad-ing between groups. Why is that? I feel like my body and mind is two separate entities. What my body wants is never want my mind wants and that is the case probably about 90% of my life. And because of that, I have screwed up so many parts of my life.
And just as Greg said, "Just leave me alone, okay? Just let me sit here and regret stuff. I'm just gonna think about all the things I've ever done, and all the things that I haven't done and just regret the living shit out of it, Okay?"
And I've realized, here's the part where the title of this post actually relates to the damn post, that compliments are sort of an enigma to me. Just like the two separate entities of my body and mind, compliments could result in two separate reactions.
On one hand, I love compliments. I remember two incidents that had etched the feel good feelings of a compliment in my life. The first was when I was in Standard Five, I believe. The last year I was officially in Sabah as a student. It was English class and there were three block of pictures on the board. We were assigned to write a short paragraph for it. I was chosen to write for the last one, and while I cannot remember the content now, I do remember the result. The teacher, complimented me and said that the answer were perfect. A perfect 10/10. I felt so happy that day that nothing could damper my happiness.
The other time was in English Matters. That was in Form 4 or 5? I can't exactly remember. And again, I don't remember what I did or wrote that attributed to the compliment but the teacher again complimented me that I did a great job and had a talent for writing. Yet again, I was feeling incredibly joyous.
But here's the damper in compliments. I don't believe them. Why? Because I'm a skeptical person, I overthink and believe most compliments don't reflect the truth and are there just to make one feel good. And I guess it's probably the sole reason why I'll be single all my life and die alone. It's just never good enough y'know? A whole book of undeniable black of nothingness.
Which is a bummer. To be honest, I wonder what it feels to be swapped places with someone who actually deserves and want to live. Like, I honestly felt that the world would need someone bright. Not a pessimistic, talent-less skimp like me. That would probably do the world a hella lots of good. But what's done is done and it's not my say to prove otherwise.
12:58am
26/09/2015
I should probably do the social media hiatus thing again.
26/09/2015
Look who's back with another movie inspired but not a review, post of a reflection on life. Someone once told me that a movie is just a movie. But I truly think that's not true. I mean, some people are just movies. Movies like Pixels or Transformers. But the movies back then, weren't just a movie. It's teaches values and morals. Even in hardline movies like The Godfather.
Anyhow, today's movie-inspired but not a review is Me And Earl And The Dying Girl. And again, while this is not a review, it does has some spoilers. So, if you're planning to watch it untouched, read this after you've finished it. And yes, do watch it. It's amazing. How amazing you ask? It gives me the same vibes as It's Kind Of A Funny Story. Yes, that movie. The movie that's in my Top One list of all time favorite movie.
So anyhow, the gist of the movie is about an insecure kid meeting a girl of his age, out of his will, who has cancer. Don't worry, she gets better. She doesn't die in the end.
Okay, back to the point. In the movie, a very very tiny part of the film had him, Greg, segregate the students in his high school into certain group. And the girl, Rachel asked Greg, what group is she in.
"What group am I in?"
"What?"
"Yesterday you were saying you mapped out the entire high school by group. What's my group?"
"Seriously? Boring Jewish Senior Girls, Subgroup 2-A"
"Ugh."
"Please appreciate how honest I was just now."
"You're an asshole. What group are you in?"
"Uh, I'm not in a group, actually. I just wouldn't belong to a group that doesn't suck. You know, I'm terminally awkward and has a face like a groundhog."
While the segregation of groups isn't as drastic here as it is in the Western world, there is though. To a certain degree. And I wasn't part of any group, per se, be it high school or college. More often than not, I would find myself nomad-ing between groups. Why is that? I feel like my body and mind is two separate entities. What my body wants is never want my mind wants and that is the case probably about 90% of my life. And because of that, I have screwed up so many parts of my life.
And just as Greg said, "Just leave me alone, okay? Just let me sit here and regret stuff. I'm just gonna think about all the things I've ever done, and all the things that I haven't done and just regret the living shit out of it, Okay?"
And I've realized, here's the part where the title of this post actually relates to the damn post, that compliments are sort of an enigma to me. Just like the two separate entities of my body and mind, compliments could result in two separate reactions.
On one hand, I love compliments. I remember two incidents that had etched the feel good feelings of a compliment in my life. The first was when I was in Standard Five, I believe. The last year I was officially in Sabah as a student. It was English class and there were three block of pictures on the board. We were assigned to write a short paragraph for it. I was chosen to write for the last one, and while I cannot remember the content now, I do remember the result. The teacher, complimented me and said that the answer were perfect. A perfect 10/10. I felt so happy that day that nothing could damper my happiness.
The other time was in English Matters. That was in Form 4 or 5? I can't exactly remember. And again, I don't remember what I did or wrote that attributed to the compliment but the teacher again complimented me that I did a great job and had a talent for writing. Yet again, I was feeling incredibly joyous.
But here's the damper in compliments. I don't believe them. Why? Because I'm a skeptical person, I overthink and believe most compliments don't reflect the truth and are there just to make one feel good. And I guess it's probably the sole reason why I'll be single all my life and die alone. It's just never good enough y'know? A whole book of undeniable black of nothingness.Which is a bummer. To be honest, I wonder what it feels to be swapped places with someone who actually deserves and want to live. Like, I honestly felt that the world would need someone bright. Not a pessimistic, talent-less skimp like me. That would probably do the world a hella lots of good. But what's done is done and it's not my say to prove otherwise.
12:58am
26/09/2015
I should probably do the social media hiatus thing again.
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