tilfinningar
12:22am
6/10/2015
I should probably heed my own advice which is to never write angry. I should just turn the laptop off and head off to bed. But I've spent the past few hours with this page open, lurking at the sides of the browser. Calling out for an update.
And to clarify, I am probably not angry. Frustrated I may be. Angry, probably not. Why should I be? I had a pretty decent day. Though it's one of those days where I legitimately felt almost all emotions (tilfinningar) there is to be felt.
I felt sadness when I woke up because I went to bed sad because of a stupid stupid emotion.
I felt happiness when I got to meet someone who I hadn't met for a long time and went for breakfast together.
I felt worried upon seeing a sight that I'm uncertain as to how I should feel.
Here's the thing. All my life, no matter how much I feel as to what I feel, at the end of the day, I would probably end up frustrated. The question is just how much? I guess a lifetime of people watching shaped how I am today. A whole bubble waiting to be popped.
Y'know, in previous times, whenever I feel that I'm at the stage where the bubble is going to be popped, I would take a week or two of solitude. Saying that, I can't physically do so with classes still going on and all. But maybe I should get back to what I did a few months ago, a break from all social media? Could that do wonders again?
Oh and one more thing. Never would I have thought that I would stuff myself with food to drown my sadness. I mean, I say that as a figure of speech. But would my conscious mind follow up with that? Probably not. But that is what my unconscious mind exactly did. And not just any kind of food. Ice cream. I have had visited Inside Scoop 5 times in the past 7 days. Ice cream, the saviour of us all. Funny thing is, I literally don't have any appetite to have any form of a proper meal.
My intake for dinner today was about a quarter of what I used to eat. I couldn't remember the last time I actually finished a meal of my own. The roti bom I had a few days ago? Half of that went to Chee Kong and Zheng Yi. The nasi goreng I had earlier today? Half of it went to the flies.
I'm probably not sure about a ton of things. But this I am sure. There's something wrong with me.
12:35am
6/10/2015
6/10/2015
I should probably heed my own advice which is to never write angry. I should just turn the laptop off and head off to bed. But I've spent the past few hours with this page open, lurking at the sides of the browser. Calling out for an update.
And to clarify, I am probably not angry. Frustrated I may be. Angry, probably not. Why should I be? I had a pretty decent day. Though it's one of those days where I legitimately felt almost all emotions (tilfinningar) there is to be felt.
I felt sadness when I woke up because I went to bed sad because of a stupid stupid emotion.
I felt happiness when I got to meet someone who I hadn't met for a long time and went for breakfast together.
I felt worried upon seeing a sight that I'm uncertain as to how I should feel.
Here's the thing. All my life, no matter how much I feel as to what I feel, at the end of the day, I would probably end up frustrated. The question is just how much? I guess a lifetime of people watching shaped how I am today. A whole bubble waiting to be popped.
Y'know, in previous times, whenever I feel that I'm at the stage where the bubble is going to be popped, I would take a week or two of solitude. Saying that, I can't physically do so with classes still going on and all. But maybe I should get back to what I did a few months ago, a break from all social media? Could that do wonders again?Oh and one more thing. Never would I have thought that I would stuff myself with food to drown my sadness. I mean, I say that as a figure of speech. But would my conscious mind follow up with that? Probably not. But that is what my unconscious mind exactly did. And not just any kind of food. Ice cream. I have had visited Inside Scoop 5 times in the past 7 days. Ice cream, the saviour of us all. Funny thing is, I literally don't have any appetite to have any form of a proper meal.
My intake for dinner today was about a quarter of what I used to eat. I couldn't remember the last time I actually finished a meal of my own. The roti bom I had a few days ago? Half of that went to Chee Kong and Zheng Yi. The nasi goreng I had earlier today? Half of it went to the flies.
I'm probably not sure about a ton of things. But this I am sure. There's something wrong with me.
12:35am
6/10/2015
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