Wonder [6]

11:55pm
5/3/2017

Here's what I hope for this post. That the post matches the title because the title is merely there due to an inspiration from Oh Wonder. Last week's post was inspired by Mura Masa and Lovesick & What If I Go?. This week it's Oh Wonder with Without You and Landslide.

I wanted to save this post for another shiny day but fuck it. Confidence. Before you discard this post because I'm gonna talk about confidence. Yeah, me of all people. Just stay with me.

Okay, let's go. Y'know what, I've always had this belief that I were to put all my efforts into one thing, I could, no, would achieve greatness. I grew up doing sports. Not just one sport. A variety of sports. I had training for swimming, badminton as well as football. I quit football because that was the one thing that I literally had zero talent in. But as for the former two sports, I had constant praises from both my coaches. And because of their belief in me, I truly believed I could made a name for myself in either of these two sports.

But alas, I didn't.

The move to a new unfamiliar place to live a whole new life is a daunting task. Some might say, what's wrong? Just grow out of your shell and make new friends. There's nothing hard about that. You're wrong man. It might be easy for you. I was a kid full of confidence (well, 3/4 full) but moving here totally took that away and ever since I crawled into this shell of mine only to peek out once in awhile. It's tiring wearing a mask to face the world.

The future I seek for is one where I am able to face the world for one full day, 24 hours without wearing a mask.
The future I seek for is one where I am surrounded by people I truly love and care for and am cared for.
The future I seek for is one without worry, without stress and sadness.
The future I seek for is one where I live.

12:10am
6/3/2017