confidence & pleasure
22 years and counting.
happy new year to all of you reading this. i truly hoped you guys thoroughly enjoyed reading the insides of my mind and that all you've achieved what you set out to achieve in 2018. and last but not least, that you've set the right goal for yourself and a plan to achieve that.
all of you deserved a happy ending. set forth and achieve it. dont stay still.
y'know they always say a man only have a few things to worry about in life; romance, finance, career, family & health. lets go through them one by one in the life of stan in no particular order.
1. health. overall i can't really complain though i wish it could be better. on one hand, i dont have a critical illness or anything that's constantly stabbing me in my heart or an excruciating pain. all i wish for is that i dont fall sick easily anymore (im sick right now) and that i wont feel as much headache and nausea anymore in 2019... 6.5/10
2. family. i love my family. that includes people that ive met over the course of my lifetime that ive taken them in as my family. i couldnt have asked for a better family and i love them all. theyre all i couldve ever asked for, the support and rock theyve given to me throughout the year and life is amazing and im always grateful for that... 10/10
3. finance. im actually proud of my achievement. to think that i started with literally zero in my account. to see it go up month by month is an amazing feeling. of course, i wish it could go up bigger and much much faster but dreams start somewhere. this is the start of it i hope... 8/10
4. romance. im not perfect. shes not perfect. were not perfect. no one is. but she is the perfect one for me. there are ups, there are downs, we break boundaries, we build foundations, two years in, two years strong, i love you today as much as i loved you on the first day, if not more, day by day my love for you go stronger and i know it would never change... 100/10
5. career. ahhh... the biggest question in my life. and the main topic of today's post. nope, its not a year in review. its my worry about career.
here's something, i am not worried about my prospect, i know i will land a job, a good one. as ive acquired now. i know i will learn a lot from all the new experiences and adventures this life will throw at me. as ive done so now. but what i am unsure of is whether i will enjoy and envision myself doing this for the rest of my life.
look, what im doing right now, it's pretty interesting and i am learning a lot with a young, vibrant and a team that is always improving in a fast-paced but fun environment. if you put everything on paper, there is nothing much i could complain about. opportunities to learn? check. it pays well? check. a caring and teaching boss & teammate? check. a balance work-life balance? check. so why am i so unsure of my commitment to it right now?
the thing is, i have mood swings quite often. some days i would wake up feeling all gungho and excited for the days ahead. some days i just dont feel the energy at all. yes, some say find something to do instead of waiting time consume my mind.
that's what i did today. i did quite a lot of productive things from work-related to personal-related (oh i built a portfolio website, here take a look, :) ) but is this what i want to do fulltime?
during my formative years, ive set myself to do writing for a living. i thoroughly enjoyed my time in aa doing so. i came here thinking of wanting to do something different to try it out. and i did and i enjoyed it. is it as much as writing though?
i am never a conclusive individual. my mind is always everywhere all the time and i would never make a solid decision without regret. everytime i tell everyone i never live life in regret. thats false. i do so all the time, i say that just to make a better impression of myself in others. i live in a life of what ifs and what not.
there, the first week of 2019 is ending ( how quick time passes ) and all my question still persists. to all of you reading, again, i thank your support for me all these while, even if we dont talk anymore, i feel your support and you are the reason im still doing this.
happy new year to all of you reading this. i truly hoped you guys thoroughly enjoyed reading the insides of my mind and that all you've achieved what you set out to achieve in 2018. and last but not least, that you've set the right goal for yourself and a plan to achieve that.
all of you deserved a happy ending. set forth and achieve it. dont stay still.
y'know they always say a man only have a few things to worry about in life; romance, finance, career, family & health. lets go through them one by one in the life of stan in no particular order.
1. health. overall i can't really complain though i wish it could be better. on one hand, i dont have a critical illness or anything that's constantly stabbing me in my heart or an excruciating pain. all i wish for is that i dont fall sick easily anymore (im sick right now) and that i wont feel as much headache and nausea anymore in 2019... 6.5/10
2. family. i love my family. that includes people that ive met over the course of my lifetime that ive taken them in as my family. i couldnt have asked for a better family and i love them all. theyre all i couldve ever asked for, the support and rock theyve given to me throughout the year and life is amazing and im always grateful for that... 10/10
3. finance. im actually proud of my achievement. to think that i started with literally zero in my account. to see it go up month by month is an amazing feeling. of course, i wish it could go up bigger and much much faster but dreams start somewhere. this is the start of it i hope... 8/10
4. romance. im not perfect. shes not perfect. were not perfect. no one is. but she is the perfect one for me. there are ups, there are downs, we break boundaries, we build foundations, two years in, two years strong, i love you today as much as i loved you on the first day, if not more, day by day my love for you go stronger and i know it would never change... 100/10
5. career. ahhh... the biggest question in my life. and the main topic of today's post. nope, its not a year in review. its my worry about career.
here's something, i am not worried about my prospect, i know i will land a job, a good one. as ive acquired now. i know i will learn a lot from all the new experiences and adventures this life will throw at me. as ive done so now. but what i am unsure of is whether i will enjoy and envision myself doing this for the rest of my life.
look, what im doing right now, it's pretty interesting and i am learning a lot with a young, vibrant and a team that is always improving in a fast-paced but fun environment. if you put everything on paper, there is nothing much i could complain about. opportunities to learn? check. it pays well? check. a caring and teaching boss & teammate? check. a balance work-life balance? check. so why am i so unsure of my commitment to it right now?
the thing is, i have mood swings quite often. some days i would wake up feeling all gungho and excited for the days ahead. some days i just dont feel the energy at all. yes, some say find something to do instead of waiting time consume my mind.
that's what i did today. i did quite a lot of productive things from work-related to personal-related (oh i built a portfolio website, here take a look, :) ) but is this what i want to do fulltime?
during my formative years, ive set myself to do writing for a living. i thoroughly enjoyed my time in aa doing so. i came here thinking of wanting to do something different to try it out. and i did and i enjoyed it. is it as much as writing though?
i am never a conclusive individual. my mind is always everywhere all the time and i would never make a solid decision without regret. everytime i tell everyone i never live life in regret. thats false. i do so all the time, i say that just to make a better impression of myself in others. i live in a life of what ifs and what not.
there, the first week of 2019 is ending ( how quick time passes ) and all my question still persists. to all of you reading, again, i thank your support for me all these while, even if we dont talk anymore, i feel your support and you are the reason im still doing this.
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