safe space

08/05/2019

9:32pm

i will not lie. its been a tough couple of months. april was supposed to be a good month - with my birthday and graduation after all. but those two seems to be the only highlights of the month. all other days sucks, and it sucked bad.

and it all boils down to work. since the leng chai campaign during february, work seems to be... well, work. i used to enjoy doing what i was doing, it was cool, it was interesting, and it was even liberating at some point.

but work has since become so tiring, its become so robotic that i am starting to hate work. initially my contract was supposed to end at the end of march, and i chose to leave. i chose to run down my contract and pursue what i set out to do. but after taking time to think about it, the stability and the growth that this job is able to provide me with, as well the trust and faith that the team and company has given in me, i chose to remained.

couple weeks into extending my contract. i received a call.

the call, in a nutshell, was "congratulations. you did superbly the past 6 months and we've decided to convert you to a full time staff. congrats, you deserved it."

i accepted it, once again.

the one great thing anyone can receive in life is the trust and belief that people have in you. and i felt that trust, i felt that belief, that is why i chose to stay and accept the conversion.

but since then, the work has increased, tenfold. its not just me but the whole company's workload continuously went up and up and up. everyone's expecting more, everyone's want to do more, everyone want you to do more.

man, im tired.

i thought of leaving, everyday. 

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but i am staying strong. thinking back on why i chose to stay in the first place, i will stay and remain strong to go forth this. the ultimate goal is to work and settle down in an oversea country, that's the goal. hopefully next year, i will fulfill it.

until then, you'll be seeing me in the lazadian colours once again.