Conquest of Paradise
29/06/2019
11:50pm
i've did it. what was once a question of "what if" has evolved into a matter of "when"
i've finally had the talk. and while i will not deny that it was nerve-wrecking, it certainly felt good to let it out. it was as if a certain burden was lifted off the shoulders of my own.
though, the ever-lasting question remains, will this be the right choice? am i weak for coming to this decision? for not being able to last out for a longer time.
you used to read stories on the tough roads people have taken on, they struggle and heave their way through, and in the end managed to carve a road full of success and comfort for themselves and their loved ones.
by coming to this decision, am i jeopardizing that future? i will not lie, for a fresh grad, well, just a year's experience, i am fairly paid here. but circumstances led to this decision, a decision that i know will cost me 20-30% paycut in my next job if i were to pursue what i want to do. that's just the fact of life. hopefully it doesn't come to that.
why then you ask? why now?
1) if you were to compare my workload from now to the last three months of 2018, it's certainly less. the period of october to december last year was chaotic & hectic to say the least, but even then i had the drive and resolve to wake up and get shit done. but lately for the past few months, i no longer have that drive. it's more of a robotic stance, where i just get up, give the bare minimum and get home. and i feel that that is not fair on both my team & the company.
2) i guess this is not what i want to do. if i were to leave, i am 90% sure i will not be in an e-commerce company. and i am 50% sure i will not be in marketing. when i came into this job, i gave myself the period of 6 months (my initial contract duration), and if i liked it, id stay. if i didnt like it, its back to chasing the pack. i guess after close to 12 months, its the latter.
3) there are an adequate demand for the social team, in terms of personnel. i believe that even if i've left, there will be sufficient replacement for my position. in the end, social will survive, and will climb to greater heights, with or without me.
so i guess that was the three reasons that made me came to this conclusion.
lazada, youve been great. but its time to say farewell...
in 2 months (after serving the notice)
im going on a journey, on a journey of healing, both physical, mentally & spiritually.
i would need to mend the sick, the defeated & the broken.
im going on a journey, a journey that shall be named "conquest of paradise"
because, in the end, happiness is all we look for.
11:50pm
i've did it. what was once a question of "what if" has evolved into a matter of "when"
i've finally had the talk. and while i will not deny that it was nerve-wrecking, it certainly felt good to let it out. it was as if a certain burden was lifted off the shoulders of my own.
though, the ever-lasting question remains, will this be the right choice? am i weak for coming to this decision? for not being able to last out for a longer time.
you used to read stories on the tough roads people have taken on, they struggle and heave their way through, and in the end managed to carve a road full of success and comfort for themselves and their loved ones.
by coming to this decision, am i jeopardizing that future? i will not lie, for a fresh grad, well, just a year's experience, i am fairly paid here. but circumstances led to this decision, a decision that i know will cost me 20-30% paycut in my next job if i were to pursue what i want to do. that's just the fact of life. hopefully it doesn't come to that.
why then you ask? why now?
1) if you were to compare my workload from now to the last three months of 2018, it's certainly less. the period of october to december last year was chaotic & hectic to say the least, but even then i had the drive and resolve to wake up and get shit done. but lately for the past few months, i no longer have that drive. it's more of a robotic stance, where i just get up, give the bare minimum and get home. and i feel that that is not fair on both my team & the company.
2) i guess this is not what i want to do. if i were to leave, i am 90% sure i will not be in an e-commerce company. and i am 50% sure i will not be in marketing. when i came into this job, i gave myself the period of 6 months (my initial contract duration), and if i liked it, id stay. if i didnt like it, its back to chasing the pack. i guess after close to 12 months, its the latter.
3) there are an adequate demand for the social team, in terms of personnel. i believe that even if i've left, there will be sufficient replacement for my position. in the end, social will survive, and will climb to greater heights, with or without me.
so i guess that was the three reasons that made me came to this conclusion.
lazada, youve been great. but its time to say farewell...
in 2 months (after serving the notice)
im going on a journey, on a journey of healing, both physical, mentally & spiritually.
i would need to mend the sick, the defeated & the broken.
im going on a journey, a journey that shall be named "conquest of paradise"
because, in the end, happiness is all we look for.
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